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Saturday, June 23, 2007


Looking catatonically at a screen.
Moving blind fingers invisibly over a silent keyboard (it’s a Mac).
Smiling serenely, reading unreal compliments about oneself.
Going to bed with a hot piece. A laptop.
Becoming too self-possessed to notice your iBags.
Sprouting a hernioid mid-part that serves as a table for the PowerBook.
(At least the gonads are spared the thermal damage, but why do I bother?)
Make friends with perfect strangers, like Hugh Grant does with women on the street.
Diagnose you are getting bald when the laptop malfunctions, because all your hairs went into the AS..H.. L; (I mean the keys on board, have a look at yours, keyboard, I mean!)
Only people with really dirty minds must be reading my blogs.
Have early morning headaches the way women have big-night headaches (both work as anorexiants for the sex organs). Useless brainwave #4358= let us call them gonorexiants! Or libidorrhagic agents. Is there a Nobel Prize for being just clever?
Laugh like a hysterical patient of hysteria while reading the popularity of your blog: at 22476824930044999000000004427639427398, you never knew that many earthlings even existed, leave alone earthlings with enough shillings to bear internet billings.
Stare vacantly past conversations made by people, thinking about the mystique of being labeled 22476824930044999000000004427639427398 in the planet. Even as a poor student, you stood 18th in a class of 35 students. Never 22476824930044999000000004427639427398. No, I have thought about this, never.
Google must be wrong. With that many computers and terabytes (whichever way they spell that) they are bound to get confused and make the occasional mistake.
As you are vacant and contemplative, your spouse is now convinced you are having an(other) affair. God, how good that feels, to be even considered good enough to be having an affair!
The sub-pubic ambient temperatures are very high, but not so much an androgenic as an electronic phenomenon: the PowerBook is known to generate heat enough to cause blisters on a hippo’s ass, if such hippo were resourceful enough to blog on a Mac.
I read in a blog that every man and his dog have a blog. Why not a hippo? Tell me, anyone??
I think the heating issue is now affecting my hippocampus, and the whole planet.

1 comment:

Bernard said...

Hi Rambodoc, thanks for dropping by my blog. i couldn't stop laughing at your entry. Dem funny.

I guess if one with diabetic neuropahty would need to be very careful about the heat generated by the laptop on the lap, and the nearby organs. :-)