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Tuesday, August 7, 2007

SEARCHING IN THE WRONG PLACE!


I am used to having people search for 'Celine and FTV', 'Condoms', 'vibrating condoms', 'Vibrating condoms-how they work', and enter my blog. Many spend 0:00 minutes in the blog, some do spend decent time, and a few become regulars. I am astonished, however, to note what all stuff people Google for, and where they land. Imagine you searching for a red light area in a new city and you end up spending your evening in a temple!
Today it was 'large scrotum', and someone managed to find me. I mean, not me as a representative of the condition, but this blog. I mean, I have the balls to say what I want to the way I want to, but isn't 'Big Scrotum' a bit too much? I surely can't advertise for that! The search result just before mine was a site in Jakarta that says "He had testicles the size of medium-large potatoes. ... are drugs to kill the parasite but it’s best to take these before the scrotum swells up like this. " Very interesting, I am sure, but he must be talking of filariasis, which doesn't move me.
Today, another search that led into this blog was, believe it or not, 'what is the name of the hole in which the urine comes out of a female?" Fortunately, I was in honorable company, with Addenbrooke's Hospital as the number one hit. This search led to my The Third World post, which dealt with gender benders. Now, I am sure this must be one of the new illiterates, who can press thirty different keystrokes in a blur but only type out sms lang wth min ffrt. On top of that, this person does not even know the hole story of life.
Next, "Botox availability in limerick" led to one of my limerick posts. What do these guys think? That someone will have created a limerick only on 'Botox availability' so that they can use it in their PowerPoint presentations and look less retarded? Unless that person is me, or someone more retarded.
'Antonio villaraigosa is a typical mexican male cheater' was one that I flunked. Just dunno how that hit me.
I am sure there are lots of you who laugh out at some weird searches that found you. I still find some satisfaction in being hit with 'life of a surgeon' (its lots of sex, I mean stress, and makes you less money than good old shopkeeping, trading or lawyering does) , or 'treatment of piles without surgery' (wait till I get my hands on you!), or, best of all, "b. ramana gall bladder surgeon kolkata" (Nothing but the best for you, mate? Hope you are carrying lots of cash!?)
What about you?

6 comments:

Priyank said...

The way the search engines find our blogs - is indeed crazy. But crazier than that is the way people phrase their search strings !!
The only trouble I had with this was a battery of unwanted traffic, and that ate my bandwidth. Trust me, it did matter at a time when all resources were limited :)

Priya said...

well, Doc, thanks to these phrases in bold in this post, you haven't quite seen the last of those lost souls stumbling upon your blog! I wouldn't be surprised if it got worse from now on! :-)

P.S: My blog turns up first or second when people search for TVS Scooty Pep - 'coz I wrote one single line (yep, just one single line) on that subject!

Clarissa said...

Large scrotum. Ace.

Steven said...

I have disregarded any posting on any movies today.Please if anyone
has any information on this beautiful redhead little girl call your
local police dept.

PLEASE READ THE POST

http://steven-movieworld.blogspot.com/

Krish Ashok said...

Looks like Steven has managed to comment on every blog on planet earth :)
That said, here is a short list of interesting search strings that have led some interesting people to my blog

1. pimp my peon
2. how to make food with words
3. lost my wallet debit pin

and the most frequent search string, almost daily

Suhaag Raat methods
Suhaag raat videos

and today's masterpiece,
WHAT DO PEOPLE DO IN THEIR SUHAAGRAAT (capitals not mine)

So i have decided to create a separate page to help these misdirected souls.

Oemar said...

Seems like the Get-Pervert-Meaning-From-Everything Union has secretly flagged you. Enjoy the trip to the 'other' side ;)