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Thursday, June 21, 2007

When You Don't Take "No" for an Anwer!

Do you know how it is to be on the frontlines in an active war? Just like getting married to the wrong person!
After my internship I was drafted into the military service during the Iraq-Iran war and reported to my infantry Battalion as ordered. My commander, a Colonel, had some peri-anal issues. Based on what he told me, I did not think he had piles, but he insisted he did and would not take “no” for an answer.

One early morning, I was summoned to his post, where he demanded an examination. But I had no proctoscope (a metal tube half as wide as an ice cream cone). He dispatched me with his guards some 30 miles away to the nearest MASH unit. There I was greeted with unusual respect and was indulged with all the tools of my liking. Back at the frontline, I performed the proctoscopy on my commander, a 5 feet-nothing, chubby male with a face the color of sun-dried Italian tomatoes. As I advanced the scope, the enemy could have heard his groans! His face turned the color of sun-dried Italian olives. Luckily for me, it went through fairly quickly. As he pulled his pants up he said, "Thank God I am not gay!” Dismissed!!

1 comment:

Bernard said...

Hahaha.. I didn't know that Samir also writes in this blog :-)